Like a bird with a lion's heart we let them go

We have been preparing for this moment for years...we just didn't know it. Every time we dropped them off at a friend's house, a movie, or at the mall, we were setting the stage for the big one. Today, we watched our children pull their suitcases toward an airport's security clearance - together, but apart. Together as brother and sisters; but apart from us, their parents. This is a moment that will be etched in our memory just like the first day we brought our children home from the hospital. Sure, parents of all times have watched their children take flight, but until it's experienced it's a foreign concept.

 

As parents, we live in tension. We bemoan the fact that time goes so fast. "I can't believe how time flies" is the expression heard around the world, millions of times per day, as each birthday is celebrated. We look at old pictures and home videos and wish we could turn back the hands of time and recapture the days when our children crawled along the floor. But at the same time, we look forward to milestones in our children's lives such as graduations, weddings, and new births. Inwardly, we long for the hugs and kisses our children used to give us. Outwardly, we're training them for life on their own - knowing that their full independence is our goal.

 

It's an old and often used image of a mother bird pushing her young out of the nest, but it models our lives so closely. During the early days and weeks of  new life, in all types of weather, the mother works night and day, evades predators, protects her nest, and scavenges for morsels of worm and weed to feed her young. And then the day comes - and only she knows - when the time is right for her fledglings to leave home. It must be a bird with a lion's heart that can push her baby out forcing it to fly. If it fails to fly, it will die. So, she has to be sure it's ready for the first flight.

 

We didn't push our kids out of the house this morning. They were eager to leave! As parents, we've tried to give them the tools for survival and life skills to flourish. Are they fully ready to live alone without us? Probably not. Hopefully, not yet! But they're close. Close enough that we didn't include special notes in their luggage the way we did when they went off to summer camp or a friend's cottage.

 

God has been good to us. He has graciously given us three beautiful children that are now testing their own wings and are flying solo. For a few days, we'll be empty-nesters. But by God's grace, they'll fly back to us...on a wing and a prayer.

 

Here's hoping time flies!

 

 

"He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again." Happy Mother's Day!

My mom gave me this card for my birthday in 2004.
It has been on our fridge ever since.

It was like a 'take' from the old sitcom "Three's Company" except that my Mom had the role of Jack Tripper, (which was played by John Ritter, a physical comedy genius). Imagine: a class of 21 grade school kids and a few chaperones, including my Mom, at Tigchelaar's Berry Farm for a class trip sometime in the '70's. (Remember those field trips? Go to a farmer's field, run through a berry patch, and if there was a horse available, go for a ride!) Well, that was the case at Tigchelaar's and we each got to take a ride on their horse. So, when it was my Mom's turn she put one foot into the stirrup, and with youthful exuberance and the agility of a young teenager she swung the other leg over the horse's back and her momentum catapulted her over the horse and she landed 'gracefully' on her butt beside the horse!! And, in her characteristic 'nothing's going to stop me' unflappable fashion, she promptly stood up, dusted herself off, and climbed back on - only this time with success.

That is my Mom. Resilient. Fun loving. Adventuresome. Encourager. Faithful. Mom (x6). Grandmother (x17). Great Grandmother (x2).

I've never known my Mom to complain about the litany of physical ailments she's endured that already started when she was a young girl in her native Holland. Multiple doctors' visits, seemingly endless medications (which makes one thankful for drug benefit programs!), therapy sessions, and good ole' fashioned 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger' willpower have all been hallmarks of her nearly 8 decades of life.

Mom's note in the card to me.

But, the cornerstone - the anchor - that I've witnessed giving her the strength to continue is her faith in Jesus, her Saviour, and healer. I've often wondered and have been troubled why some of God's children are given what seems to be greater burdens to bear than others - as is true, I think, with my Mom. A possible answer that provides some peace is in the poetry of Annie Johnson Flint. Flint, whose degree of suffering makes one contemplate the mystery of pain and suffering, often captured the essence of God's grace during times of suffering through her prolific hymn-writing and poetry. One of Flint's more well-known poems is "He Giveth More Grace".

He Giveth More Grace

He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.

 

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

One day, it will all be made clear. Thanks Mom. Happy Mother's Day. Henry

When 'the show must go on'

 

If Freddie Mercury and Queen's "The Show Must Go On" describes your life:

"The Show must go on!
The Show must go on!
Inside my heart is breaking,
My make-up may be flaking,
But my smile, still, stays on!

Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance.
Another heartache - another failed romance.
On and on!
Does anybody know what we are living for?"

 

then keep reading and maybe we can figure what this life's about and how to go on. (This blog won't take long!)

Freddie leaves us empty - he leaves us still questioning life and he doesn't give us an answer. He leaves it to chance and he's adamant that if anything else, "the show must go on". But how? By looking to him and his life? Now I know the music genre is drastically different but let's look at Carrie Underwood's latest "Something in the Water" to get a different look at life. Carrie sings:

 



"Couldn’t fight back the tears so I fell on my knees,
Saying,“God, if you’re there come and rescue me.”
Felt love pouring down from above,
Got washed in the water, washed in the blood and now I’m changed
And now I’m stronger.”

 

Unlike Freddie, Carrie doesn't look within herself to find strength and hope. Upon the invitation of a "preacher man", Carrie is lead to faith, is baptized, finds a source of strength, and trusts in "someone bigger than (her)". She sings that it "must have been something in the water". And she's "stronger".

That "something in the water" is grace - it's not magic. It's grace that is a gift of Jesus that doesn't require repayment. It's a grace that allows us to keep going in life. It allows us to continue...to continue with all of life's 'acts' and life's 'shows'. Grace carries us from Act 1 (our new life in Jesus on earth) to the final Act (our eternal life with Jesus in Heaven).

Jesus invites us to cast our life's struggles on him and he will carry them. You can look it up here - Matthew 11:28. He doesn't promise life to be easy or to be free of trials, but he does promise us that he'll carry us when times are tough and life seems hopeless.

If you're looking for hope; if you're looking for purpose, look up - not within - as Freddie tried. You won't find it there. Look up toward Golgatha on Good Friday and see the cross where Jesus died, look inside the empty tomb on Easter and...live.

When you feel lost; when your forget life's 'lines'; let Jesus take the lead role and the show will go on.

Marked for Life, Made to Live

Picture this: there were two deer, each with 10 point racks, standing on their hind legs in a forest clearing. One of the deer has what appears to be a bullseye on its chest. And, the other deer looks at the first and says, "Bummer of a birthmark, Hal!"

A picture, a few words - 5 to be exact - and the stage is set! I'm sure Hal lived to be a very paranoid deer; always conscious that he was helping any would-be hunter get a better shot! Gary Larson, creator of "The Far Side" comic strip, had a great way of giving human qualities and personalities to wild life. His comics were often a single frame coupled with a one-lined zinger. But, that's all he had to say..."Bummer of a birthmark, Hal"...and in no time we can envision Hal living a very shortened life.

Funny, right? But, the odd thing about this cartoon is that I can identify with Hal. No, I don't have antlers or go by the name 'Buck', nor do I expect to live an abbreviated life because of a ill-placed bullseye, but I know first hand what it means to be the owner of a birthmark that's very prominent. It's not on my face as some people have. I was born with a dark, strawberry coloured birthmark that extends from the heel of my left foot, up the calf and to the back of my knee.

I don't remember when I became self-conscious of the mark, but I do remember one of the first times that I made an effort to hide it. I was 7 years old and I decided to wear long pants to my grade school's annual track and field day and I was determined not to be subjected to the questions from curious kids and less-than-tactful adults. When asked why I wasn't wearing shorts I recall making up the excuse that I forgot it was field day...(something a little unbelievable given the excitement and anticipation kids have for field days before they realize running and jumping are not at the top of their skill ladders.) While fumbling for excuses I remember one of my classmates, Marlene G, showing me a moment of undeserved grace and offering some elastic bands to help keep my pant legs rolled up.

Playing soccer wasn't a big deal because you could wear long socks and it would cover up my birthmark. But when I was 17 or so, going to Gulliver's Beach and wearing black jeans on a hot, summer day was a regrettable decision! I think that was the final straw. It was after baking at that beach and getting an even darker farmer's tan that I decided, if you don't like what's on my leg,...DON'T LOOK AND DON'T ASK! Now, I'm gentler and a little more accepting of peoples' curiosity, which is all it really is, isn't it?

A physical mark, a permanent spot on my skin, had partially defined me at such a young age. Starting from a very young age, we let all sorts of outside influences define who we are as individuals. We allow things like a birthmark, the presence or the absence of hair, the size of our house, our height, the make of our car(s), the types of vacations we take, how much money we earn, our job, the size of bank account, our ethnicity, athletic ability, the brand of clothing we wear, sexual identity, our friendships, how many views we get on Instagram, likes on Facebook, +'s on Google, favourites on Twitter (I'll pause here and let you fill in some more because the list is endless ______) to shape our identities. I've heard it said before that we allow our net worth to define our self worth. And, it's sad. Sad.

Look around. We're bombarded with ads that tell us we'll be happier with a drink in our hands, a diamond on her finger, a boat in the driveway, an in-home theatre, better smelling armpits, fresher breath, tighter abs and skinny jeans. Really? Maybe, for a few hours, or days, tops.

I'm not immune to it - I still fight the temptation to compare myself to others. But, here's what I try remember (and I'm not always successful): I was fearfully and wonderfully made by God (Psalm 139:14) and I'm storing my treasures in Heaven! (Matthew 6:20). That's all I need. I just can't use it as collateral on a bank loan!

Come to think of it, when asked by my epidermal inquisitors I should have replied, "Oh...that red spot...those are God's fingerprints he left behind when he made me."

Ah, story of my life...always a day late and a dollar short!

And, after all these years, a word to my 2nd grade classmate Marlene G. - "Thanks for your kindness! I'll never forget."

Great day to be alive

Usually, when I get in my truck at 2 AM on a cold, snowy night I waste little time putting the transmission into drive. Not this past Monday. I turned the key and was welcomed with... "It's a Great Day to be Alive" sung by Travis Tritt." I just sat there shivering and listened. (Since I'm not gifted with awesome lyric recall like the rest of my family I had to look up the lyrics.) Here're a few lines:

"Sometimes it's lonely, sometimes it's only me

And the shadows that fill this room

Sometimes I'm fallin', deserately callin'

Howlin' at the moon, ah-ooh

Well I might go get me a new tatoo

Or take my old Harley for a three day cruise

Might even grow me a Fu Man Chu

And it's a great day to be alive

I know the sun's still shining'

When I close my eyes

There's some hard time in the neighbourhood

But why can't everyday be just this good"

(from www.azlyrics.com writer: Darrell Scott)

You get the idea, I hope. Here's a man singing about simple blessings in life while at the same time acknowledging there's trouble all round - including in his own life - and he's thankful for each day. It resonated with me...and it brought me to smile. Yeah...it's a good day to be alive - even though there's some hard time in the neighbourhood.

Just earlier that evening I heard that the family of a man I worked with for 17 years pulled him from life support. I hadn't seen 'Pro' (as we called him) for the last 8 years and I was thinking that the last time I said 'Good bye' to him was really the last time I'd ever say good bye to Pro. You never know when the last time is going to be the last time. You say good bye to your kids when they leave for school. You say good bye to your best friend after a night on the town. You say good bye to your parents after a long overdue visit. You say good bye to your spouse on your way to work. You say good bye to a coworker as you enter life in a new employ. Or, you never get to say good bye.

The small things in life that provoke mild irritation - or anxiety - seem to be appreciated or even welcomed when a tragedy occurs. Suddenly, I'm thankful (not a lot mind you!) for having to get up at 2 AM to plow snow. I'm thankful for the annoying birds that woke me up too early on a Saturday morning. I'm thankful for my teenage daughter who's practicing the flute while I'm trying to write this blog. (She's actually quite gifted...phew!) I'm thankful for having to turn up the TV's volume because the dishwasher and washing maching are fighting over who can be the loudest during the rinse cycle!

And, I think...it's a great day to be alive.

Another great day: my mom watching her Dad (Pa) milk a cow. (See the wooden shoes!) 

The big things become bigger. Like watching my teenage son get into a van with his buddies - driven by one of his buddies. Yup - no parents at all. Just 5 - 16 year old boys, a van, some skates, a puck and in search of ice. And, I was thankful to watch it from my window. Or, witnessing my daughter and her friend confidently walk to the front of our church this morning and ask for donations for their upcoming mission trip to Haiti. And, if I could say this quietly so they don't hear me, I'm thankful that my oldest children will soon have their G2 driver's licenses. Not because I'll spend less time driving, but because, by God's grace, they've reached this milestone of life.

And, I think...it's a great day to be alive.

I think it's generally a good thing that we don't know when the last time we say good bye..will be the last time. I'm thankful that future events are kept hidden and are revealed in time. I'm not sure many people could bear or would really want to know what the future holds.

But, whatever the future holds, and whichever 'Good bye' will be my last good bye, may this be my song:

Sunset in Indian Shores, Florida

"The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies beore me
Let me singing when the evening comes
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name" (lyrics Matt Redman)

And, I think...it's a great day to be alive.