Praying for fins and webbed feet after the rain comes

After today's (6/14/2015) rain at
Horizon Flower Farm

I'm a little embarrassed, and a lot more ashamed. Every year, for the past 8 years and going on 9, I go through the same see-saw battle. Too dry...too wet. Too cool...too hot. Too windy...too calm. (Yes...it can be too calm!) When it comes to our weather, growers have to be among the most cynical!

This past May, weather prognosticators were calling for the driest spring on record in the Greater Niagara region of Southern Ontario. To quote an article from last month in The Hamilton Spectator - "Tys Theysmeyer, head of natural lands at Royal Botanical Gardens, calls the situation "unbelievable."" Now, this June could go on record for being one of the wettest.

And, here I am...feeling like an Israelite in the Wilderness of Sin! Do you remember or know that story in the Bible? In Exodus 16, God had provided the Israelites with manna and quail after the people complained that they were better off in Egypt where food was plentiful. Then, in Exodus 17, the Israelites complained they didn't have any water to wash down their food! (Exodus 17: 3 But the people were thirsty for water there, and they grumbled against Moses. They said, “Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to make us and our children and livestock die of thirst?”)


I remember hearing these Bible stories when I was younger, and even more recently, and thinking - "Won't you believe?" How many times does God provide for you and you still don't trust? They're so stubborn! I'd never do that." But, I'm just as guilty, obstinate, and ungrateful (and every other adjective you can conjure up to describe 'dissatisfaction'). Over the past week, when people have asked me if we had enough rain over the past few weeks, I found myself mumbling - more like grumbling - "Yes, but make it stop. Now it's too wet."

God answered our prayers by sending rain. While California is going through a four year-drought, I'm now secretly praying for fins and webbed feet!

How many times does God provide when we think we're going to 'die of famine or thirst'? A new customer comes calling to buy most of my unsold peony crop; an unknown man from Ottawa sends a cheque for a piece of equipment when cash flow is tight; a neighbor presents his barn as a rental option when I outgrow my place; a relative lends a piece of needed equipment at a crucial planting time; a violent summer hail storm skirts our highly sensitive dahlia crop as we pray for a protective umbrella. Shall I go on? Shall I continue to remind myself of God's goodness?

In my family's short experience on Horizon Flower Farm, there is enough evidence to know...and believe...that NOTHING happens without reason or purpose. And, if God reroutes our paths toward a different vocation, he'll be there too - that we can depend on.

Still, my lack of trust gnaws at my soul. I can't help but feel ashamed for doubting; for asking for more proof of his providence; for more evidence that he cares. But I know he has patience...and for that I'm grateful!